Live Your Best Life!

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if you fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of the time, however, by reading this, you will start to be able to recognize the problematic patterns and begin to shift them.

In this article, I will review 3 common thought distortions that were identified by psychologists Aaron Beck and David burns in the 1970’s and 1980’s. In subsequent articles I will review additional thought distortions so be sure to check them out in the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life blog. I will offe...

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are things you think about yourself, your relationships with others, or life and the world in general that result in you holding back, playing small, being self-critical, and / or not living up to your full potential. The problem with these beliefs is that when you don’t realize they are there, or you don’t challenge them, they become the catalyst for the results you get in your life. For example, if you believe you will never have your dream job…guess what you will never have? If you believe you will never be able to lose weight…you will continue to act in a way that prohibits you from losing weight. If you believe you are not worthy of a great, romantic relationship, you will never have a great, romantic relationship.

As I so often reinforce in my coaching, your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings impact your actions which then create the results you get in your life. If you want different results in your life, you need differ...

Resilience is a word you may have heard quite a bit since the pandemic hit, however, many people don’t fully understand what it is, why it is so important, and what they can do to build or strengthen it. Resilience is defined as, “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”. In this article, I am going to explain what resilience is, and I will also provide some concrete steps you can take which will help build or foster your resilience.

As I mentioned above, resilience is the ability to recover or “bounce back” from difficulties. In this last year, we have all experienced so many challenges. While we all got hit hard with these challenges, there are some people who have used this time to grow personally or professionally, get healthier, do things they never had time for, and improve their lives overall. Other people got hit hard, and they never got back up. They continue to focus only on the hard things, the loss, and the struggles and they have essentially been “...

The possibilities in your future are endless. There are things you may dream about having or happening in your future, however, there are so many more things that are possible for you which you have not even conceptualized. Your possibilities are so much bigger than your brain and mindset allows you to consider, unless you train it to do so. If you want to achieve your goals and go even beyond what you think is possible, you need to take control of your brain instead of allowing it to control you.

What happens to so many of us is that we spend too much time worrying about the future and focusing on negative things from our past, that we don’t allow for all the possibilities that are available to us. We worry about all the “what ifs” which keeps us playing small and staying within the confines of what we already know. We use our past to inform us about what is possible for our future which restricts us from growing, expanding, and living to our fullest potential.  This is what happe...

Have you ever set your mind to do something and as soon as it does not go perfectly, you give up completely? I am certainly guilty of this! I used to do it with exercise and eating on a regular basis. I would have a plan for what I was going to do for exercise for the week, however, when it did not go according to plan on Monday or Tuesday, I would give up completely for the remainder of the week. Instead of trying to follow through with my plan for the remaining days, I would tell myself that I would try again the following Monday. Over time, this created the habit of not following through with what I said I was going to do. My slips turned into slides over and over. 

I have done this with eating as well. I would make a plan to eat healthy for the week, however, if I did not eat what I had planned for breakfast or lunch, I would give up on the entire day. Many of my coaching clients struggle with this as well. This pattern of behavior can impact so many areas of our lives. Wheth...

Have you heard this saying before? I have heard it many times but up until recently, I have not really examined how it plays out in my own life. I am going to share with you what I discovered and the process I used to discover it. I also encourage you to go through this process so that you can identify if you should change what you are prioritizing in your life. After I went through this process, I was able to make some good changes in how I was prioritizing things so that I did not feel like I was saying yes to too many things, and so that I felt like I was saying yes to the right things. I was also able to realize how some small, seemingly meaningless decisions could add up to big results (both positive and negative).

Anytime we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else. The problem is, much of the time we don’t even realize what it is that we are saying no to. This applies to all areas of our lives. Let me give you some examples to makes sure we are on the same pa...

Do you have goals for yourself? I sure hope you do! I am definitely of the mindset that I always want to be growing and evolving into the best version of myself, however, this can be easier said than done. I am going to explain to you why and I am also going to give you some strategies to get unstuck if you are someone who sets goals and then either downgrades them or gives up on them completely.

It all comes back to your brain. You would think that your brain would be your biggest motivator and your biggest supporter…and it is…just not in the way you want it to be. Your brain is designed to protect you. That’s it’s number one job always. It wants to keep you comfortable and safe. This sounds nice on the surface, however, any time you are trying to do something new that will require you to push yourself, even just a little, your brain will try to hold you back. It’s alarm will go off that you are doing something that may cause you discomfort (physically or emotionally), so it will ...

Doesn’t this sound like a great day? I think so! The reality is that this completely possible, however it will not just “happen” without some intention and effort. If we are not thoughtful about both how we want to spend our time each day and how we feel each day, we will lose control over both.

Think about if you were going on an amazing vacation and had to be at the airport at five in the morning to catch your flight. You would likely wake up determined to make sure that you got to the airport on time so that you did not miss out on your amazing vacation. You would have thought about what time you needed to get up, what needed to get done before you left the house, what last minute items you needed to pack, how you would get to the airport, and what time you needed to leave the house. You would have even done some prep work the night before to make sure your morning went as smoothly as possible. Perhaps you even went to bed a little earlier so that you felt more alert in the morn...

How often do you hear people say things like, “The pandemic is ruining everything”, or “My boss makes me crazy”, or “My job is burning me out”, or “My finances cause me so much stress”, or “My mother-in-law drives me crazy”? My guess is you have heard many people say something similar to one of these things, and likely you have said things like this as well. Most of us have! If you can relate, you are not alone, however, it is something you may want to consider changing.

The reason I would like you to consider changing this is because it results in your being powerless. If you believe that your life is ruined because of the pandemic, you give up complete control over your life. If you believe that your boss or mother-in-law are driving you crazy, you give up complete control of your sanity. If you believe that your job or your finances are causing you stress and burning you out, you give up complete control over feeling content and relaxed. While I am not suggesting that any of the...

More than 50% of Americans get less than the recommended seven hours of sleep per night. I am sure this is similar in other parts of the world as well. All the research points to how important sleep is, however, so many still struggle to get in the minimum of seven hours of sleep each night.

Why are we not prioritizing sleep? It may be that you feel that later in the evenings is the only time you have for yourself to relax watching television, catch up on social media, catch up on work, or take care of other household chores. For some, it may be that you wear it like a badge of honor that you don’t need many hours of sleep each night to function. For some, it may be that you can’t fall asleep when you get into bed, so you stropped trying to go to bed early and prefer to fall asleep on the couch. For some it may be that you feel like there are not enough hours in the day for you to get seven to eight hours of sleep each night and still accomplish everything else.

While these are...