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When You Say “Yes” to One Thing, you are Saying “No” To Something Else.

Feb 02, 2021

Have you heard this saying before? I have heard it many times but up until recently, I have not really examined how it plays out in my own life. I am going to share with you what I discovered and the process I used to discover it. I also encourage you to go through this process so that you can identify if you should change what you are prioritizing in your life. After I went through this process, I was able to make some good changes in how I was prioritizing things so that I did not feel like I was saying yes to too many things, and so that I felt like I was saying yes to the right things. I was also able to realize how some small, seemingly meaningless decisions could add up to big results (both positive and negative).

 

Anytime we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else. The problem is, much of the time we don’t even realize what it is that we are saying no to. This applies to all areas of our lives. Let me give you some examples to makes sure we are on the same page.

  • If I say yes to an extra project at work, I am saying no to as much time with family or friends as I may want.
  • If I say yes to ice cream after dinner, I am saying no to my commitment to not eat sweets late at night.
  • If I say yes to exercise, I am saying no to hitting the snooze button and snuggling back under the covers.
  • If I say yes to sitting and talking with my husband at night, I am saying no to watching Netflix tonight.
  • If I say yes to picking up the phone when a friend or family member calls to complain about something, I am saying no to consuming only peaceful or positive things for the day.
  • If I say yes to purchasing a new online course to learn something for my business, I am saying no to being able to take on a new coaching client because I won’t have the time.
  • If I say yes to making healthy home-cooked meals for the week, I am saying no to working late.

 

Hopefully you get the point!! I could come up with thousands of examples and often one yes, could result in several no’s. When I sat down and really thought about this, I realized a few things in my own life. I was definitely saying yes to a lot of ongoing learning (which I love!), which was resulting in my saying no to more content creation and openings for coaching clients. I was often saying yes to things that were known and comfortable, which meant that I was saying no to things that put me out of my comfort zone, but from which I could grow. I was saying yes to the distraction of social media at times which meant I was saying no to quality time with my husband, more time for reading, and/or more time to create content for my clients.

 

Going through a simple exercise, allowed me to uncover the things that I was not noticing that were impacting how my time was being spent. I am going to walk you through this exact process. If you go HERE, you can get a worksheet that accompanies this process so you can get the most out of it.

  1. Write down all the things you want to be doing, or wish you were doing more of if you had more time, money, support, confidence, knowledge, etc. Don’t censor your thoughts and use additional paper if needed.

 

  1. Next, for each item you listed, consider what you will need to say no to in order to say yes to the items on the right-hand side. Take some time and think this through. It may be something you can say no to and then immediately be able to say yes to the thing you want, or it could be something you need to say no to over and over so that you can finally say yes to something else.

Example: Saying no to sleeping in, will immediately allow you to say yes to working out. Conversely, saying yes to working out, means you are saying no to sleeping in.

Example: Saying no to daily Starbucks and eating out 2x per week for 6 months will allow you to have the money you need to say yes to  _________. Conversely, saying yes to _________, means you are saying no to Starbucks and eating out.

 

  1. Start with one thing. Choose one thing on your list and commit to it. Write it where you will be reminded of it. Keep your “why” for wanting this fresh in your mind. Be consistent in saying no to the thing that is getting in the way of the thing you want to say yes

 

Go through this activity as often as you need to. We have choices we get to make every day that help shape the lives we live and the things we are able to do. This activity will help you prioritize what you want in your life and get clarity on what it will take to achieve the things you want to do. Sometimes the choices will seem clear-cut and easy, while other times they will feel like sacrifices where you have to give up something you want now, in order to have something in the future. Whatever it is you choose, I will be here cheering you on!

 

Grab your worksheet HERE right now and get started. If you have questions or want a little extra support, reach out to me at [email protected] and let me know how I can help!

 

Live your best boss lady life.

~ Karen

Karen Vincent Solutions

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