5 Signs You’re Holding Yourself Back (And How to Break Free)

Are you unknowingly holding yourself back from your dreams? Take some time to really consider this because it’s more common than you might think. Sometimes, the biggest roadblocks in life aren’t external things—they’re our own thoughts, fears, and habits. Without even realizing it, you might be self-sabotaging or limiting your potential in ways that keep you from achieving your goals.

The good news is that once you recognize these patterns, you can start taking small steps to break free from them. I’m going to share five things you may be doing that are holding you back, as well as specific steps you can take to challenge and change these patterns so that you can thrive and achieve more.

One of the biggest signs you’re holding yourself back is negative self-talk. 

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can be incredibly powerful because it affects how you see yourself and what you believe you are capable of achieving. Negative self-talk happens when that little voice in your head constantly says things like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never succeed.” 

Imagine if a friend said to you, “You’re not smart enough to achieve that goal.” How would that make you feel? You would probably be pretty discouraged, right? Yet, you may be saying similar things to yourself on a regular basis without even noticing.

How to Break Free: Start by noticing when you’re being negative toward yourself. Every time you catch a negative thought, pause and ask yourself if it’s really true. Then, try to reframe it. For example, if you think, “I’ll never be good at this,” replace it with, “I’m still learning, and every step I take gets me closer.” Practicing positive self-talk can build self-confidence and help you see possibilities instead of limits. Check out my Instagram stories @karenvincentsolutions to get ideas of for daily positive affirmations that can help boost your positive self-talk.

Fear of Failure (or Even Fear of Success!)

Another way you could be holding yourself back is by being afraid to fail—or even being afraid to succeed. Fear of failure might keep you from starting a project or taking a risk because you don’t want to mess up. But sometimes, fear of success can hold you back, too. This might happen if you worry that succeeding will bring big changes, negatively impact relationships,  or create added responsibilities.

Both types of fear are normal, but they can stop you from reaching your full potential. When you let fear control your choices, you are more likely to stay in your comfort zone, missing out on exciting opportunities and growth.

How to Break Free: Recognize that fear is a part of growth, and it doesn’t have to hold you back. Try breaking your goals into smaller, manageable steps. By focusing on just one small action at a time, fear feels less overwhelming. Each small step you take builds momentum and shows you that you’re capable, even if you still feel nervous.

Do you often find yourself putting things off, even when you know they’re important? 

Procrastination

Procrastination is another common sign of self-sabotage. When you procrastinate, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of stress and guilt because tasks pile up, and deadlines get closer. Procrastination often happens when we feel overwhelmed or unsure, or even when we’re afraid of not doing something perfectly.

How to Break Free: Start by setting small, realistic goals. If a task feels too big, break it down into smaller pieces. Instead of thinking, “I need to finish this huge project,” focus on just starting it, like spending 10 minutes organizing your materials. You’ll likely find that once you get started, it’s easier to keep going. Plus, you’ll feel proud of yourself for taking action, even if it’s just a little at a time. 

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Perfectionism and setting unrealistic expectations are common forms of self-sabotage. When you set the bar too high, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly falling short because you are chasing something that does not exist in reality. This can be discouraging and may even make you want to give up altogether. Remember, nobody’s perfect, and setting goals that are impossible to reach only leads to frustration and self-doubt.

How to Break Free: Aim for “good enough” instead of perfect. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to achieve massive goals, focus on steady progress. Celebrate each small step you accomplish, no matter how minor it seems. By shifting your mindset from “I need to be perfect” to “I’m proud of my progress,” you’ll feel more motivated and positive about your journey. If you think perfectionism is holding you back, grab my free guide, 10 Steps for Perfectionists Who Want to Achieve More, that will help you overcome your perfectionist tendencies so that you can achieve more.

If you’re surrounded by people who are constantly negative, critical, or dismissive of your dreams, it can be tough to stay motivated. 

Surrounding Yourself with Negative Influences

Sometimes, the people around us can unknowingly hold us back. While it’s not always possible to avoid negative people entirely, spending too much time around them can drain your confidence and make it harder to believe in yourself.

How to Break Free: Try to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who encourage you to grow. Seek out friends, mentors, or groups who lift you up and remind you of your potential. You don’t have to cut ties with everyone who isn’t supportive, but focus on building a support system that believes in you and your goals.

Self-sabotage can sneak up on you, but recognizing these habits and behavior patterns is the first step to overcoming them. By identifying negative thoughts, setting small goals, and surrounding yourself with positivity, you’ll realize that you have the power to break free from the things that hold you back and move toward a happier, more fulfilled life. Remember, you don’t have to make massive changes overnight. Start small, stay consistent, and celebrate your progress along the way. You’ve got this!