Tips and actionable items to help you manage your mindset and achieve your goals so that you have success in all areas of your life. You deserve it and I am here cheering you on!!!
Are you unknowingly holding yourself back from your dreams? Take some time to really consider this because it’s more common than you might think. Sometimes, the biggest roadblocks in life aren’t external things—they’re our own thoughts, fears, and habits. Without even realizing it, you might be self-sabotaging or limiting your potential in ways that keep you from achieving your goals.
The good news is that once you recognize these patterns, you can start taking small steps to break free from them. I’m going to share five things you may be doing that are holding you back, as well as specific steps you can take to challenge and change these patterns so that you can thrive and achieve more.
Negative self-talk can be incredibly powerful because it affects how you see yourself and what you believe you are capable of achieving....
What you believe about yourself, others, and the world impacts how you feel and the results you get in your life so it is important to have a belief system that works for you, not against you. A belief is an acceptance that something is true or that something exists. It is trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something. It is how you make sense of the world but your beliefs are not the “T” truth that you might think they are.
We all have beliefs. Some of our beliefs we are aware of and some run quietly in the background of our minds, or in our unconscious minds. The problem with the unconscious beliefs we hold that run quietly in the back of our minds is that despite their being quiet, they do influence how we feel, the actions we take, and the results we get in our lives.
Before going further, let’s explore where your beliefs come from. Your beliefs are the result of some of the following:
Your mindset and your beliefs about yourself are powerful. They can elevate your confidence, your actions, and the results you get in your life, or they can crush your confidence, limit your actions, and limit the results you get in your life. Have you heard of the “fleas in a jar” story? It is a great example of how what you believe changes how you act, and therefore the results you get in your life.
Years ago, a scientist conducted an experiment where he placed fleas in a glass jar. Once in the jar, the fleas immediately started jumping and jumped so high that they were able to jump out of the jar and escape. Next, the individual conducting the experiment put a glass lid on the jar so that the fleas could not escape. The fleas continued to jump but now they were hitting the glass lid, jumping again, and hitting the glass over and over without being able to escape as they had before.
What happened next is fascinating. The scientist removed the glass lid...
We all have a lens through which we view the world. This lens is created over time, starting at a young age, and is the result of our life experiences, what we have been told about ourselves, others, the world, and what we think about ourselves. This lens impacts the way we see things and can be very subjective. This is the reason why two people could be in the same situation and think and feel very differently about it.
It is important for you to know that this lens exists, but also for you to check in on your lens and assess whether it is working for you, or against you. This lens is heavily tied to your belief system and your mindset. For example, if you were going on a job interview and your belief system was that you were not good at interviewing and you were not one hundred percent qualified for the job, you would likely show up to the interview differently than someone who was very confident in both their interview and professional skills. In addition, if you believed...
Recently I was working with a client who was finally able to uncover how terribly she speaks to herself. She regularly says things like, “I messed that up”, “I will never have enough time”, “I don’t ever follow through with things”, and “I’m always disappointing people”. It has become a habit for these phrases, or other phrases like them, to run through her mind. In addition, she always takes the blame when things don’t go well, and rarely takes the credit when things do go well, because she does not want to seem like she is bragging.
Do you see how problematic this can be for her self-esteem, for her overall emotional state, and for her confidence regarding being able to accomplish the things she really wants in her life? Her thinking pattern had become so routine that she was not even questioning the accurateness of her thoughts. She was just accepting them as true, even if there was plenty of evidence to prove...
Do you know why so many people don’t achieve their goals or live the life they say they want to be living? It is because they don’t believe that they can actually achieve what they say they want. If you don’t firmly believe that you can do something, be something, or achieve something, then you will unconsciously hold yourself back over and over. The reality is, if you want to do something that is challenging, you likely do not have the skills, strength, knowledge, means, etc. to do it today. If you did, you would already be doing it, right?
However, it does not mean that you can’t acquire the necessary skills and knowledge, build your strength, or increase your means so that you can accomplish your goal. In order to do that, however, you must first believe in yourself and believe that with work and focus, you can achieve something that you have never achieved before. This is critical because if you don’t actually believe in yourself, you...
Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ll believe it when I see it”? Often, we are waiting to “see” something to give us evidence that something is possible, or that something will happen in our lives. Maybe you are waiting for a certain financial status. Maybe you are waiting for a relationship to improve. Maybe you are waiting for something to improve with your health. The problem is, when you say, I’ll believe it when I see it, it will likely never happen.
The reason for this is because with this kind of mindset, you are telling your brain you don’t believe it will happen or that it is possible, and therefore, you think and act as though it is not possible. You tell yourself that only when you see evidence of it happening or of it being possible that you will believe it. When you do this, it results in you not consciously, or unconsciously, doing anything that would make it possible. You are resolved to the fact that it is not...
How often do you take time to challenge your beliefs? Unless you are very intentional, my guess is that you rarely do this. The majority of us don’t challenge our beliefs because they have been around for so long. They are what we know. They are comfortable (even if we don’t necessarily like them). They inform how we operate, what we think is possible, and the overall success and quality of our lives. Yikes! If they are that influential, shouldn’t you be checking in on yours?
Your beliefs form because you have certain thoughts about yourself, those around you, and the world in general that have been playing on repeat in your mind over time. They may be the result of something you heard someone tell you when you were young. They may be the result of something you witnessed happen to someone else. They may be the result of what kind of media or social media you have consumed over time. Whatever it is, you “digested” some form of information, put it on...
Don’t underestimate the power of your mind. Even those thoughts that you don’t consciously see are impacting how you feel, what you do, and the results you get in your life. When you understand this, and intentionally take charge of your thoughts, you not only change how you feel, you also change your life. While this sounds simple (and it is), does not mean that it is easy.
You have two parts to your brain. The conscious part, and the unconscious part. What is stored in the unconscious part of your brain matters. This part of your brain is designed to protect you. It keeps track of the things you tell yourself about yourself and the world in general. If you frequently tell yourself that you are “less than _____ (fill in the blank)” or that you are “not enough _____ (fill in the blank), or that you “should _____ (fill in the blank), or that “you will never be successful, happy, or loved”, these thoughts will be stored in your...
The mindset you have today, is not the mindset you need to achieve any significant goal you may have. If it was, you would already be there. Whether it is a relationship goal, a financial goal, a business or career goal, a health goal, or any other goal, the reason you have not yet achieved it, is because you are not yet the person you need to be to achieve it. Your belief system drives the outcomes and results you get in your life. If your belief system (both consciously and unconsciously) does not support that you are someone who can have an amazing relationship, be debt free, have your dream job, or lose a certain amount of weight, no matter how many times you tell yourself that you want those things, they will never come to be.
Your brain can be your own worst enemy, however, it does not have to be this way. You are able to rewire your brains so that you believe the things you are trying to achieve before you even have them. Think, “I’ll see it when I believe...
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