Live Your Best Life!

One of the most effective strategies for making real and lasting changes in your life, is to get really honest about where you are today. While it is important to have a roadmap for where you are going, if you are not honest about where things are now, and how they got to be the way they are, it will be harder to get to your destination.

To start this process, ask yourself what is one thing that you would like to change. It may be tempting to want to make a list of 3, or 5, or even 10 things, however, start with one thing and you can add others as you go. Once you identify the one thing you want to start with, ask yourself the following questions and then answer them, being as specific as possible. If you want my guide to help you though this process step-by-step, click HERE.

• Why is it important for me to make a change in this area?

• What do I want this change to look like? How do I want things to look and feel when I have made the change?

• How...

Do you know that your brain will believe what it is thinking, whether it is true or not? The bad news with this is, if you don’t examine and challenge your thoughts, you will believe whatever you are thinking, regardless of whether it is actually true. If you are thinking negative thoughts about who you are, or what you are capable of, your thinking can hold you back significantly. The good news is, if you learn how to notice your thoughts, you can challenge them and choose thoughts that serve you better.

Your brain will naturally remember the things that are repeated the most which means, if you want to think better thoughts, you need to be intentional about repeating them over and over. It takes some effort but isn’t it worth it? If you can learn how to manage your thinking, this will help you for the rest of your life so I will ask again, isn’t it worth it?

If you have some negative thinking patterns that have been present for a long time, it will...

Do you ever feel like you talk about wanting to change something in your life, however, you never actually do it? If so, you are not alone. This is a common experience and a situation that most of us find ourselves in at some point. We say we want something different, however we never actually take the steps to initiate the change. This is different than when you start and stop over and over. This challenge happens when you don’t start at all because starting is often the hardest part.

Have you ever noticed that when you work out, putting on your sneakers and getting moving is often harder than the actual workout? Have you ever noticed that when you are trying to work on a project that sitting down and beginning if often the hardest part? Have you ever noticed that if you are trying to save money, that creating the budget is often harder than actually cutting back your spending? Whatever the situation is for you, starting can be the biggest challenge. It requires the...

Do you find that you sometimes look at other women and wish that you had the life they are living? Do you sometimes wish that you had the resources they have, or the career they have, or the body they have? If so, you are doing what so many of us do both consciously and unconsciously. We compare ourselves to others and then beat ourselves up for not measuring up. We compare ourselves to others and become resentful of them. We compare ourselves to others and then find even more faults within ourselves. I am here to tell all of us who fall into this behavior pattern that we need to stop.

Instead of looking at someone else and then being highly self-critical, telling yourself that you are not “enough”, or feeling bad about yourself, use them as an inspiration for what is possible. When you look at someone else who is doing something or has something that you wish you had, study them, identify what things may have helped them get to where they are now, and use this...

Have you ever met someone who blames other people or their circumstances when things are not going well in their lives? Perhaps this is you. I know I have been there! It can be easy to tell ourselves that if only the circumstances were different, or if only someone else acted differently, that we would be better off. The reality is that although this may appear to be true, it is usually not the case.

Think about it...when we blame circumstances or other people, we are giving away our power. We are essentially telling ourselves that making our situation better is out of our control and that we are at the mercy of other people or external events. Before going further, I want to make sure that you don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I know that there may be circumstances or people in your life that can be incredibly challenging. I know that there is illness, financial hardship, mean bosses, hurtful family members, and a thousand other things that could be dealing with...

Anxiety is defined as, “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome”. I don’t know anyone who has not experienced anxiety at some point in their lives. As a therapist and a coach, I work with individuals who have anxiety that they feel is negatively impacting their day-to-day living. Whether due to panic attacks, being distracted being unable to take action due to all the worrisome thoughts, by lacking confidence due to all the things they are worried about, or other reasons related to anxiety and worry, some individuals cannot function the way they want to due to their anxiety.

The good news is that there are things that can be done to reduce feelings of anxiety. Please note, that although I am a licensed therapist the suggestions in this article are not a replacement for formal one-on-one therapy. If you are experiencing significant anxiety and/or are having any concerns related to safety,...

Too often I see clients holding themselves back because of their past. Whether it is because of messages they received about themselves from others, past failures, how they grew up, or what things have happened in their lives, I have seen too many people restricting their future based on their past.

Let me explain this further. Your brain wants you to stay safe and comfortable. Because of this, it will try to keep you where you are, rather than pushing you to try new things or pushing you outside the bounds of where you currently are. It will restrict you from seeing that there are possibilities beyond those that you have already seen or experienced and it will remind you of past failures and past messages you heard or created about yourself that tell you that certain things are for “other people” but not for you. It is not your fault that your brain does this, it is the way all of us are wired.

Just because you are wired this way, however, does not mean...

Social connection has been shown to lower anxiety and depression, improve physical health, improve day-to-day performance and quality of life, improve our immune systems, and help us live longer. I think we have seen the importance of this more than ever, over the course of the last year. Recently, I have been working with many clients who are experiencing increased levels of anxiety, depression, and stress because of the cumulative effect of not having been able to spend time with friends and family for an extended period of time. Although initially many people were happy about having more time for themselves, the impact of not seeing friends and family coupled with not seeing co-workers in person, has taken its toll on many. The National Alliance on Mental Illnesses is running a “You are Not Alone” campaign for Mental Health Awareness Month to highlight the importance of social connection as so many people have been impacted by the isolation caused by the pandemic.

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Do you sometimes feel like you are lacking in confidence? Do you sometimes not take actions that you think you would have if you had more confidence? Do you sometimes look at other people and wish you could be more confident and surer of yourself the way they seem to be? Many people experience this, at least some of the time.

The first thing to keep in mind is that self-confidence comes from within you. You may sometimes tie it to external events; however, it is always what you think about yourself that increases or diminishes self-confidence. For example, if something happens at work where you are given some negative feedback from your boss, you may think that what your boss said to you created a lack of self-confidence regarding your ability to do you job well, however, it is what you think about what your boss said that impacts your self-confidence. You may think that someone criticizing the way you look caused you to lack confidence, however, it is how you take it in,...

Have you ever found yourself reacting to something that someone said or did, or to something that happened, in a way that you later regretted? Have you told yourself that you are not going to do this anymore and then BAM…it happens again? If so, you are not alone. I am going to explain to you why this happens and then what you can do to reduce the chances that this will happen again.

When this happens, we sometimes think that we are upset because of what someone said, did, or because of something that happened, however, this is never the case. We are upset because of what we THINK about what occurred. This may sound a bit strange but if you consider it and understand it fully, it is also very empowering. It is empowering because once you learn that it is not the external thing happening that causes your emotions, it is what you think about them, then you can choose different thoughts which result in you feeling differently.

Let me give you a few examples to help...