Live Your Best Life!

Anxiety is defined as, “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome”. I don’t know anyone who has not experienced anxiety at some point in their lives. As a therapist and a coach, I work with individuals who have anxiety that they feel is negatively impacting their day-to-day living. Whether due to panic attacks, being distracted being unable to take action due to all the worrisome thoughts, by lacking confidence due to all the things they are worried about, or other reasons related to anxiety and worry, some individuals cannot function the way they want to due to their anxiety.

The good news is that there are things that can be done to reduce feelings of anxiety. Please note, that although I am a licensed therapist the suggestions in this article are not a replacement for formal one-on-one therapy. If you are experiencing significant anxiety and/or are having any concerns related to safety, please seek local t...

Too often I see clients holding themselves back because of their past. Whether it is because of messages they received about themselves from others, past failures, how they grew up, or what things have happened in their lives, I have seen too many people restricting their future based on their past.

Let me explain this further. Your brain wants you to stay safe and comfortable. Because of this, it will try to keep you where you are, rather than pushing you to try new things or pushing you outside the bounds of where you currently are. It will restrict you from seeing that there are possibilities beyond those that you have already seen or experienced and it will remind you of past failures and past messages you heard or created about yourself that tell you that certain things are for “other people” but not for you. It is not your fault that your brain does this, it is the way all of us are wired.

Just because you are wired this way, however, does not mean that this is the way yo...

Social connection has been shown to lower anxiety and depression, improve physical health, improve day-to-day performance and quality of life, improve our immune systems, and help us live longer. I think we have seen the importance of this more than ever, over the course of the last year. Recently, I have been working with many clients who are experiencing increased levels of anxiety, depression, and stress because of the cumulative effect of not having been able to spend time with friends and family for an extended period of time. Although initially many people were happy about having more time for themselves, the impact of not seeing friends and family coupled with not seeing co-workers in person, has taken its toll on many. The National Alliance on Mental Illnesses is running a “You are Not Alone” campaign for Mental Health Awareness Month to highlight the importance of social connection as so many people have been impacted by the isolation caused by the pandemic.

I also think t...

Do you sometimes feel like you are lacking in confidence? Do you sometimes not take actions that you think you would have if you had more confidence? Do you sometimes look at other people and wish you could be more confident and surer of yourself the way they seem to be? Many people experience this, at least some of the time.

The first thing to keep in mind is that self-confidence comes from within you. You may sometimes tie it to external events; however, it is always what you think about yourself that increases or diminishes self-confidence. For example, if something happens at work where you are given some negative feedback from your boss, you may think that what your boss said to you created a lack of self-confidence regarding your ability to do you job well, however, it is what you think about what your boss said that impacts your self-confidence. You may think that someone criticizing the way you look caused you to lack confidence, however, it is how you take it in, think abo...

Have you ever found yourself reacting to something that someone said or did, or to something that happened, in a way that you later regretted? Have you told yourself that you are not going to do this anymore and then BAM…it happens again? If so, you are not alone. I am going to explain to you why this happens and then what you can do to reduce the chances that this will happen again.

When this happens, we sometimes think that we are upset because of what someone said, did, or because of something that happened, however, this is never the case. We are upset because of what we THINK about what occurred. This may sound a bit strange but if you consider it and understand it fully, it is also very empowering. It is empowering because once you learn that it is not the external thing happening that causes your emotions, it is what you think about them, then you can choose different thoughts which result in you feeling differently.

Let me give you a few examples to help explain this co...

Do you wish you could “create more time”? Who doesn’t??? The reality is that although we cannot create more than 24 hours on the clock, we can “create time” in our days by adjusting both how we think about them, and by how we approach them.

Have you ever experienced that you get more done the day before you are leaving to go on vacation than you do on most other days? Why is this? It is because you approach the day differently. You are so focused on wanting to wrap things up so that you can go on vacation and not have to worry about work that, as a result, you work more efficiently and with more focus. On other days, you may tell yourself that you will get to what you can, and whatever you don’t get to will go on your list for the following day. We tell ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously, that we have more time and therefore we take more time to get things done.

What if you could be as productive as you are the day before you go on vacation every day? What if you ...

Do you ever feel like you are really busy, but still not getting the things done that you want to? Do you ever feel like you did not stop all day, but that you don’t really have anything to show for it? I’ve learned over time that there is definitely a difference between busy and productive. When I am busy it makes me feel like I am getting a lot done but what I am getting done is often not the things that really matter. When I am productive, it makes me feel like I am doing things that move something forward.

There are many different strategies that can be implemented to increase productivity and I have shared a few of my favorite ones below. In addition to the strategies I am sharing below, consider what time of the day you are most productive and schedule your most important tasks for that time whenever possible. Also, focus on one thing at a time. We often hear people talk about the importance of being able to multi-task and keep up with many things at a time. While sometimes i...

Have you heard the old joke that the best business model is one where a gym opens on January 1^st, and then turns into a bar on February 15^th? It sounds crazy…but is it really? Have you ever had big goals in January and within a few weeks or months you are no longer putting in the effort required to achieve your goals? Why can so many of us relate to this? It’s because motivation ALWAYS falls off. Always, you ask. Yes…always. But the good news is that there are some practices that you can put into place that will help you continue to work towards your goals and help increase your motivation when it dips.

Break down bigger goals into smaller goals. When you have a big goal, it may feel overwhelming and hard to get started and see progress. Therefore, breaking down big goals into smaller, clearly outlined, action-oriented steps can help you get started and keep going.

Focus on one day at a time. When you think of the big picture, it can feel overwhelming which can cause you to bec...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions which is why I am writing a series of blog article about them. You can check out Part #1 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Filtering, Overgeneralizations, and Personalization. You can check out Part #2 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Fortune Telling, Black and White Thinking, and “Should” Statements. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if your fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of the time, however, by reading this you will start to be able to r...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions which is why I am writing a series of blog article about them. You can check out Part #1 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Filtering, Overgeneralizations, and Personalization. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if your fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of the time, however, by reading this you will start to be able to recognize the problematic patterns and begin to shift them.

In this article, I will review three additional common thought distortions. Be sure to check out...