Live Your Best Life!

I see people struggle with anxiety related to their volume of work on almost a daily basis so if you experience this, you are not alone. Does it feel like there are many things to get done and not enough time to get to them all? Does it feel like you could literally work from the time you get out of bed until the time you go to bed, and then maybe also on the weekends? 

If so, there are some things you can do to reduce your anxiety. First off, know that you are likely experiencing anxiety because you care about doing a good job, which is a good thing. When you care about doing a good job, you can sometimes start to think of everything you have to do as being at the same level of importance. When you think like this, you may experience a sense of urgency all day long, which can result in excessive stress and anxiety. 

The reality is, there are probably some things that are more urgent than others, and some things that can take a back seat on any given day or week. However, when y...

One of the most powerful tools you have, and I would argue it is THE most powerful tool, is your brain. In addition to running all of your bodily functions, it is responsible for how you view yourself, others, and the world around you. That is a pretty big job.

What can become problematic, however, is when you accept all of your thoughts as true, especially if you tend to focus on the negative side of situations. For example, let’s assume you texted someone and they did not text you back for a day. You may think something like, “They are mad at me and I don’t know why”, which would create certain emotions which could include anxiety, stress, worry, sadness, or loneliness to name a few. The reality of the situation, however, is that you texted a friend and they did not text you back for a day. That is the circumstance or the facts that everyone would agree on. Your thought that your friend is mad at you and you don’t know why is a thought, not a fact. 

When you believe all of you...

Have you ever heard the phrase, “I’ll believe it when I see it”? If you use this phrase it means you are skeptical of something. You are not sure it will happen so you sit back and wait for evidence to appear that will help you believe it. While this may be a good way of thinking if someone has made empty promises to you in the past so that you don’t get your hopes up, in general, this is not a good way of thinking when you are talking about your goals or what you want in your future. When thinking about these things, you should flip this phrase upside down and tell yourself, “I’ll see it when I believe it”.

Visualization, also known as mental imagery, can be a powerful tool for achieving success in all areas of your life. Whether you have personal, professional, or academic goals, creating a mental image of achieving your desired outcome and imagining yourself performing the steps that will get you there will help pull you forward towards your goal. 

When you visualize your succe...

Unfortunately everyone experiences stress at some point in their lives. We tend to think that things like work, relationships, health, or finances cause our stress, however, that is not the case. It is what we are thinking about things like work, relationships, health, or finances that cause our stress. While some thoughts that create stress can be motivating and help you perform better, too much stress can be harmful to  your physical and mental health. 

There are strategies that will help you manage your stress by helping  you slow down your nervous system, release tension, and take care of yourself physically, however, it is also important to learn how to manage your thoughts that are ultimately creating your stress.  

I am going to share 10 strategies for managing stress with the last one being the one I encourage you to practice over and over since it is the one that relates to your thinking patterns that can increase or decrease your stress. 

• Practice relaxation techni...

There is a good chance you have heard that it is important to have a gratitude practice...but why? When I work with clients, if I recommend a strategy for them to try, I am always sure that they understand why it is recommended and how it is designed to impact the wiring of their brain, their automatic thought patterns, and/or their nervous system. Before breaking down ways of having a gratitude practice, I want to be sure to share with you why having a gratitude practice is often a recommendation for individuals who are experiencing low mood, anxiety, stress, worry, and negative thinking patterns. 

Because we cannot possibly pay attention to everything happening around us each day, our brains are conditioned to detect and “filter in” certain things in our surroundings, while filtering other things out that it does not consider as important to pay attention to. The default mode of the unconscious brain is to look for negative things, challenging things, dangerous things, things that...

Do you have days where you are feeling energized and on fire, and then have other days where you can’t seem to muster up the energy to get anything done? Or maybe you have days where you are feeling really good about your life in general and other days where all you can see and think about are negative things. This is not an uncommon human experience and it is also not something that is completely outside of your control. 

Your energy and whether you are feeling positive or negative overall is tied to your thoughts and your mindset. Often we think these things are tied to situations happening around us, or to what other people are doing to us, however, this is never the case. Things happening around you can spark thoughts, but it is always your thoughts that create your feelings. This is important to note because this means that if you change what you are thinking, you can change how you are feeling. When you are intentional about this, you can create habits around the way you thin...

Whether we are aware of them or not, we all have habits. We have hygiene habits, health habits, lifestyle habits, work habits, financial habits, and habits that we bring with us to relationships. Your habits, whether big or small, can work for you. For example, the habit of brushing your teeth likely works for you. You keep your teeth healthy, your mouth feels fresh, and people are not repelled in a way they would if you did not brush your teeth. Another example would be the habit of exercising every day. This habit also likely works for you because it helps you be healthier, and perhaps also helps you look the way you want to look. A final example could be the habit of always hitting your deadlines at work. This is a habit that could work for you because it allows you to be successful in your job as well as have positive work relationships.

That all makes obvious sense, right? Each habit is reinforced by things such as healthy teeth, a fresh feeling mouth, being healthy, and being ...

Do you wish you had more joy in your life? Do you keep waiting for outside circumstances or events to bring you more joy and happiness? Do you ever find yourself saying, “I will be happy when…”? Have you ever heard someone say that a person makes them so happy, or that they were so happy that they got a promotion, or that they are so happy they are finally starting a family? 

While it is true that people, external circumstances, and events can trigger us to feel joy, it is ultimately what we think about people, circumstances, and events happening in our lives that create the feelings we experience.

In each of the situations mentioned above, it is what someone is thinking about another person, a promotion, or starting a family that creates the feeling of joy. For example, starting a family is an event or circumstance that happens in someone’s life. One person could feel immense joy because this is something they have been wanting for as long as they can remember. Another person w...

Your mindset and your beliefs about yourself are powerful. They can elevate your confidence, your actions, and the results you get in your life, or they can crush your confidence, limit your actions, and limit the results you get in your life. Have you heard of the “fleas in a jar” story? It is a great example of how what you believe changes how you act, and therefore the results you get in your life. 

Years ago, a scientist conducted an experiment where he placed fleas in a glass jar. Once in the jar, the fleas immediately started jumping and jumped so high that they were able to jump out of the jar and escape. Next, the individual conducting the experiment put a glass lid on the jar so that the fleas could not escape. The fleas continued to jump but now they were hitting the glass lid, jumping again, and hitting the glass over and over without being able to escape as they had before.

What happened next is fascinating. The scientist removed the glass lid and guess what happened...

Do you find it hard to stay motivated? If so, you are not alone, because it is not possible to stay highly motivated at all times. Of course there are people who seem to have a higher level of motivation ongoing, however, it does not mean they actually do. It is likely more about their mindset and their ability to push through and to keep going despite challenges or discomfort. 

As someone who is trained in motivational interviewing and who teaches strategies that help dial up and sustain motivation, I know too well how motivation can come and go. What typically happens is that we get excited about doing something new, we are energized and ready to take action because something is important to us, and then things get hard, uncomfortable, boring, frustrating, or challenging. When this happens to you, your brain will try to tell you all the reasons why you should stop working towards the thing you are trying to achieve and as a result, your motivation drops. 

Part of your brain is...