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Live Your Best Boss Lady Life!

Tips and actionable items to help you manage your mindset and achieve your goals so that you have success in all areas of your life.  You deserve it and I am here cheering you on!!!

Stop Looking to Your Past to Inform Your Future

Aug 10, 2022

It is human nature to want to look to your past to gain evidence for what you are capable of in your future. We are all shaped by our experiences growing up, the messages we received about ourselves, and the results we have gotten in our lives up until this point. “Failures” from our past are opportunities for growth but are often viewed as indicators of what we are not capable of. Negative messages we received about ourselves growing up can become beliefs that we hold as ultimate truths and experiences we had in the past, may cause us to avoid certain things in the present or in the future.

 

While there is valuable information you can gather from your past, it does not inform your future. There are lessons to be learned, however, the person you are today, is not the person you were in the past. The capabilities you have today, are not the same ones you had in the past. What others have told you about who you are or what you are capable of in the past, are not...

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5 Steps to Help You Keep Your Commitments to Yourself

Aug 02, 2022

Do you keep the commitments you make to yourself? So often we tell ourselves we want to do something and then we spend all our time doing things for other people, while forgetting to keep the commitments that we make to ourselves. Why is it that we are willing to follow through with what we say we will do for other people, but not for ourselves?

 

Whether it’s work related, family related, friend related, or even a commitment to show up somewhere and volunteer, you are likely motivated to follow through because someone else is depending on you. Maybe you don’t want to let someone down, or maybe you are motivated to get something done because you don’t want negative repercussions that could result if you did not follow through with your commitment. Maybe you have been doing this so long, that it has become a habit and that anytime you make a commitment to someone else, the only option for you is to follow through with it.

 

The act of following through...

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5 Steps for Changing “Fortune Telling” Thought Distortions

Jul 20, 2022

When faced with uncertainty, does your brain play through all the “what ifs” of the situation, act like a fortune teller, and predict that the worst-case scenario will happen? If so, you are not alone. We are all wired for negativity bias. This means that without being intentional, our brains want to focus on what is actually happening that is negative, as well as what could potentially happen that is negative. This is why your brain will have you consider the worst-case scenario, even when there is little to no evidence that this outcome will occur.

 

Your brain thinks that if it has you consider and anticipate the worst that could happen in a particular situation that it is protecting you. It thinks that by having you focus on all the negative outcomes, you can protect yourself from having them happen, and / or avoid being disappointed if they do happen. Unless there is significant evidence that something really bad could happen, this is not a good use of your...

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Do You Check in on Your Emotional Wellness Ongoing?

Jun 30, 2022

Do you check in on your emotional wellness? You go to your doctor to get checkups and you bring your car in to get tuned up and if something is wrong with either, you likely make a plan and get the support you need to fix.  Most of us are pretty good about these things, however, when was the last time you checked in on your emotional health? If it was recently, congratulations and keep doing this. If it has not been for a long time, let this serve as a reminder that your emotional health is critical to your overall well being. The quality of your life is impacted by your emotional health, so having good emotional health results in a better life overall. 

 

Emotional wellness is about what we think and feel. When you have good emotional wellness, you are able to control and express emotions appropriately. When you have good emotional health, you experience more positive relationships and social interactions. When you have good emotional health, you have coping...

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How to Stop Catastrophizing: 5 Steps to Thinking and Feeling Better

Jun 21, 2022

 When presented with uncertainty do you find yourself going to the worst-case scenario sometimes, or even most of the time? This is a thought distortion, or cognitive distortion, called “catastrophizing”. It occurs when you are faced with uncertainty and only consider the worst possible outcome, instead of considering other possibilities. When you engage in catastrophizing, you experience unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, frustration, worry, stress, or anxiety. An example of catastrophizing is, if you have an upcoming vacation, and you only think about missing your flight, your luggage getting lost, or it raining the whole time. Another example of catastrophizing would be if you get an email from your boss asking you to meet in the morning and all you can do is play through all the possible reasons he could be upset with you. A third example of catastrophizing would be if your partner is late getting home from work and you automatically think that they got in...

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How to Consistently Achieve Your Goals: A 5 Step Process

Jun 14, 2022

If you are reading this, you are likely someone with goals who wants to improve their life in some way. One thing I’ve noticed with goals is that many people spend a lot of time thinking about them, dreaming about them, and mapping them out…and then never achieve them. Believe me, I have been there many times my friend. Why is this a common experience for so many of us?

 

It is because dreaming and doing are two very different experiences. Thinking about your goals and what you want in your future is exciting, energizing, and can bring about a lot of hope surrounding what is possible. These are all feelings you want to experience, and therefore thinking about your goals is reinforced by the positive feelings you experience when you do this. On the other hand, doing what it takes to achieve your goals, especially if they will stretch you or challenge you, can be uncomfortable and create feelings of uncertainty. While pushing yourself to achieve your goals, you may...

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7 Strategies for Deepening Your Social Connections

Jun 07, 2022

Social connection has been shown to lower anxiety and depression, improve physical health, improve day-to-day performance and quality of life, improve our immune systems, and help us live longer. Not being able to spend time with others had significant negative effects for many people during the pandemic since, for most of us, we are inherently social beings. What is important to consider when thinking about how socially connected you are is not the number of people you are connected to, but the quality of those relationships.

 

In assessing whether you have meaning social connections, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I have people I can confide in?
  • Do I show up as my authentic self in my relationships?
  • Do I have people who I can rely on when I am having a hard time?
  • Do I have people who I really know and who are honest with me about the ups and downs in their lives?
  • When I am spending time with others, are we fully present with one another?

 

I like these...

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Are you Optimistic or Pessimistic? 5 Steps to Creating an Optimistic Outlook

May 24, 2022

Why is it that some people are optimistic and assume things will work out or turn out well, while other people are mostly pessimistic and focus on all the possible negative outcomes? It has to do with how our brains are wired. Based on human nature, we are wired to focus more on the negative things. That is because they typically bring about “negative” emotions and human nature is to want to avoid these negative emotions. Because of this, our primitive brains think that if they keep us focusing on past negative things, or potential negative things, then we can somehow protect ourselves from them, however, as you and I both know…this often just leaves us feeling bad anticipating negative things that will likely never happen

People who are optimistic choose to be that way. It may be easier for them because they have some real-life experiences that have gone well for them which help them consider more positive things happening in the future, however, they are...

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Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Can Build Without You Noticing: 6 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Throughout the Day

May 17, 2022

As humans, we can operate like a pressure cooker with anxiety, worry, and stress building slowly throughout the day or throughout our week without us really knowing it is happening…until we reach our metaphorical boiling point. A pressure cooker is a sealed chamber that builds up high steam pressure inside. As the steam builds, the pressure increases, and pushes the temperature of boiling water above 212 degrees Fahrenheit which results in food cooking faster. Do you ever feel like you are pushed beyond your limits of anxiety, worry, or stress and therefore react to things faster or with more intensity than you would otherwise?

 

If so, you are not alone. You start your day with your stress and anxiety levels at a certain point. They may be very low, or they could be high without you even noticing it. As the day progresses, things can happen that continue to fuel your stress and anxiety and again, you may not even notice that it is happening. You may also not...

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Your Mind Can Work for You or It can Work Against You…You Decide.

May 09, 2022

Your mind is the most powerful resource you have. It is your best business tool, relationship tool, parenting tool, emotional well-being tool, and overall life satisfaction tool. What you think about matters…A LOT. Some research indicates that you have over 60,000 thoughts per day so there is no way you can be aware of all that is happening in your mind. You have many automatic thoughts such as, reminders for how to breath, digest food, brush your teeth, walk, drive your car, and other daily, basic tasks. You also have the obvious conscious thoughts such as thoughts related to what you are doing in the present moment, reminders to get certain tasks done, thoughts about how you will manage your time each day, thoughts about when you will eat each day, etc. You also have thousands of unconscious thoughts that play in the background of your mind all day long.

 

These unconscious thoughts are related to what you think about yourself, your abilities, your confidence, and your...

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