Do you have goals for yourself? I sure hope you do! I am definitely of the mindset that I always want to be growing and evolving into the best version of myself, however, this can be easier said than done. I am going to explain to you why and I am also going to give you some strategies to get unstuck if you are someone who sets goals and then either downgrades them or gives up on them completely.
It all comes back to your brain. You would think that your brain would be your biggest motivator and your biggest supporter…and it is…just not in the way you want it to be. Your brain is designed to protect you. That’s it’s number one job always. It wants to keep you comfortable and safe. This sounds nice on the surface, however, any time you are trying to do something new that will require you to push yourself, even just a little, your brain will try to hold you back. It’s alarm will go off that you are doing something that may cause you discomfort (physically or emotionally), so it will try to pull you back into your safety zone. What makes it even harder is that much is what it is doing is on the unconscious level, so you don’t even recognize that it is happening.
This is why you talk yourself out of things or put things off, even when you say you really want them or that they are important to you. This is why so many people keep talking about wanting something in their life, but they never achieve it. Whether it is wanting to lose weight, get a promotion, find a dream job, exercise more, find true love, eliminate debt, start a business, mend a relationship, travel somewhere new, or really anything…your brain will unconsciously try to keep you exactly where you are. It can be so frustrating, right? The good news is that being aware of what I just shared is an important first step in being able to change it. Before you read further, I want you to download the worksheet that I have to go with this blog post. I want you to be able to walk through my strategies one at a time so that you get the most out of them. You can download KV’s 6 Steps to Managing Your Mindset Worksheet HERE.
OK, now that you have your worksheet, let’s continue on to step #1. Remember, your brain thinks it is helping you when it tells you to play small, to avoid change, and to stay in your comfort zone, however, if that was what you wanted you would not be reading this. You are wanting to get new results and I am going to help you!
Use the guide you downloaded to fill out your answers to these questions.
Step #1: What is something you are wanting to pursue that will take you out of your comfort zone. This could be something you have started and stopped over and over, or it could be something new you are wanting to pursue. Be as specific as possible. Instead of saying “lose weight”, say, “I want to lose ___ pounds by ____ date". Instead of saying, “get a promotion”, say, “I want to get ____ job title by ____ date where I will be earning $____". Instead of saying, “I want to find true love”, say, “I want to find my true love with a partner who is ____, ____, and ____ by _____ date”.
Step #2: Write down all the reasons why this will be hard for you to achieve. Write down all the things about pursuing this goal that will be challenging, uncomfortable, scary, or anxiety provoking. Write down anyone who may sabotage you. Write down concerns about the amount of time it will take. Write down any concerns about the money it will require. Just dump out all of your thoughts on the worksheet until your brain feels empty.
Step #3: Read through what you wrote in Step #2. Remember your brain is going to unconsciously come up with all the reasons why what you want to do is not a good idea, however, you are going to trick it because you just consciously listed them out where you can reference them as often as is needed. Congratulations! You brought the unconscious thoughts that hold you back to your conscious mind so that you can mange them instead of having them manage you. Once you have them on paper, you can consciously challenge them and it becomes harder for them to sneak up on you as fear and doubts.
Step #4: Look forward, not backwards. Your brain will tell you things are impossible because you have never done them before. However, when you are thinking rationally, you and I both know that we learn how to do new things throughout our lives. Just because you have not done it before, does not mean that you cannot figure it out and be successful. Have an affirmation or a mantra that reminds you that you are capable of achieving new things, hard things, and uncomfortable things. Choose one that you can really feel when you say it out loud. Put it where you will be reminded of it often. Some examples are: I can do hard things. This is tough but I am tougher. I am worthy of having the life of my dreams. I am in control of my feelings. I believe in myself and my goals. I am going to be my best self today. I have survived my hardest days. Find one or more that you connect with that fit with your goal.
Step #5: Act as if you are the person you will need to become to achieve your goal. Stick with me on this one. It is important. Imagine you have achieved your goal. What will it look like? What will it feel like? How will your life be different? How will you show up every day? How will you act? What will you do on a daily basis? Dig deep and visualize who you will be when you achieve that goal and be that person today. Stop looking backwards at the person who did not think they could achieve your goal. Show up as your future self and start to make the goal a reality.
Step #6: Remind yourself that every minute, every second is an opportunity to start again. If your brain takes over and you have a setback, know that this is normal. You are asking your brain to operate in a way it is not accustomed to so it will take a bit of time before it becomes easy to do. Just keep going. If you take a step back, no worries my friend! Regroup, read through your worksheet and start again. Every step forward matters. Get back into your future self mindset and keep going.
When you show up each day as the person you are wanting to become, your life will change. You are stronger than you think, and you are more capable than you think. Use this worksheet over and over anytime you are working towards a new goal. If you want to dive in deeper, really understand how your mind holds you back on a deeper level, and fast track your results, check out my coaching program packages HERE. Life coaching has been an invaluable investment for me and I know it can be for you too!
Keep going…I will be here cheering you on!
Live your best boss lady life!
Karen Vincent Solutions
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