Live Your Best Boss Lady Life!

Do you have days where you are feeling energized and on fire, and then have other days where you can’t seem to muster up the energy to get anything done? Or maybe you have days where you are feeling really good about your life in general and other days where all you can see and think about are negative things. This is not an uncommon human experience and it is also not something that is completely outside of your control. 

Your energy and whether you are feeling positive or negative overall is tied to your thoughts and your mindset. Often we think these things are tied to situations happening around us, or to what other people are doing to us, however, this is never the case. Things happening around you can spark thoughts, but it is always your thoughts that create your feelings. This is important to note because this means that if you change what you are thinking, you can change how you are feeling. When you are intentional about this, you can create habits around...

Do you wish you had more joy in your life? Do you keep waiting for outside circumstances or events to bring you more joy and happiness? Do you ever find yourself saying, “I will be happy when…”? Have you ever heard someone say that a person makes them so happy, or that they were so happy that they got a promotion, or that they are so happy they are finally starting a family? 

While it is true that people, external circumstances, and events can trigger us to feel joy, it is ultimately what we think about people, circumstances, and events happening in our lives that create the feelings we experience.

In each of the situations mentioned above, it is what someone is thinking about another person, a promotion, or starting a family that creates the feeling of joy. For example, starting a family is an event or circumstance that happens in someone’s life. One person could feel immense joy because this is something they have been wanting for as long as...

Your mindset and your beliefs about yourself are powerful. They can elevate your confidence, your actions, and the results you get in your life, or they can crush your confidence, limit your actions, and limit the results you get in your life. Have you heard of the “fleas in a jar” story? It is a great example of how what you believe changes how you act, and therefore the results you get in your life. 

Years ago, a scientist conducted an experiment where he placed fleas in a glass jar. Once in the jar, the fleas immediately started jumping and jumped so high that they were able to jump out of the jar and escape. Next, the individual conducting the experiment put a glass lid on the jar so that the fleas could not escape. The fleas continued to jump but now they were hitting the glass lid, jumping again, and hitting the glass over and over without being able to escape as they had before.

What happened next is fascinating. The scientist removed the glass lid...

Do you find it hard to stay motivated? If so, you are not alone, because it is not possible to stay highly motivated at all times. Of course there are people who seem to have a higher level of motivation ongoing, however, it does not mean they actually do. It is likely more about their mindset and their ability to push through and to keep going despite challenges or discomfort. 

As someone who is trained in motivational interviewing and who teaches strategies that help dial up and sustain motivation, I know too well how motivation can come and go. What typically happens is that we get excited about doing something new, we are energized and ready to take action because something is important to us, and then things get hard, uncomfortable, boring, frustrating, or challenging. When this happens to you, your brain will try to tell you all the reasons why you should stop working towards the thing you are trying to achieve and as a result, your motivation drops. 

Part of...

Do you find that you spend a lot of time thinking about all the worst-case scenarios that could happen? Worst-case scenario thinking, or “catastrophizing”, is a thought distortion that negatively impacts many individuals and can involve only considering the worst possible outcomes, blowing things out of proportion, or dismissing any positive outcomes including the best-case scenario. When you spend a lot of time thinking about worst-case scenarios, you also experience the emotions that accompany your thoughts about only negative outcomes occurring. Common emotions associated with worst-case scenario thinking include anxiety, worry, stress, fear, distress, hopelessness, sadness, and anger. 

There is a difference between planning for challenges that are likely to occur, and thinking about things that are very unlikely to happen. When you are using the logical part of your brain and considering if there are any actions you can take to reduce the chance of something...

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines overwhelm as “to cover over completely, submerge”, “to overcome by superior force or numbers”, or “to overpower in thought or feeling”. When we, as humans, experience overwhelm it is usually the third definition of “to overpower in a thought or feeling”. Overwhelm is a feeling you experience when you believe you have too much on your plate and/or when you think life has thrown something at you that is more than you can handle. 

Overwhelm can hit you all at once if something significant happens in your life, or it can build slowly until one day you feel like you don’t know how you can handle everything that you have to do. Overwhelm can result in ruminating thoughts about the circumstance(s) causing the overwhelm, challenging feelings of stress, anxiety, or fear, and/or physical symptoms in the body such as an upset stomach, tightness of the chest, fatigue, or headaches. When...

What you believe about yourself, what is possible for you, and about the world around you impacts the life you create for yourself. Have you ever had periods of time where nothing is working in your favor and then other periods of time where it feels like many good things are coming your way all at once? This is a common experience for many people. So, the question is, why does this happen?

In my opinion, your belief system plays a big role in this. If it feels like things are not going your way, your mind will give you more evidence of this. It will also remind you of times in the past when things have not gone your way. If you are spending a lot of time focusing on negative things happening, you are signaling to your brain that negative things happening are important to you and it will then go to work for you and find more negative things. When this happens, you will not feel energized, excited, or hopeful, and therefore the actions you take can reinforce your beliefs that...

If you are like most people, you are interested in a lot of different things, but that does not necessarily mean you are committed to them. Maybe you want to consider a new career, starting a business, starting a new hobby, finding romance, improving your finances, organizing our home, or taking your health and fitness to the next level. When you are interested in something, you spend time thinking about it. This may generate feelings of excitement, curiosity, and maybe even a little fear or overwhelm.

Dreaming is one of my favorite things to do. For me, it creates feelings of excitement and energizes me. I can dream all day long, however, dreaming alone won’t get me anywhere. This is where commitment comes in. While being interested in something or dreaming about something requires thinking, commitment requires action. If you are truly committed to something, you will continue to pursue it, even when it gets hard, boring, frustrating, or inconvenient. If you are...

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐦. We all have an inner dialogue which can look like an inner coach, or an inner critic. What you think about yourself impacts how you feel, how you behave, and the results you get in life. The goal is to have self-talk that encourages you to want to improve, while also accepting the person you are without harsh criticism.

The way you talk to yourself can cause painful emotions, which makes it harder to show up and behave in the way you want to. If you sit with these painful or negative emotions for an extended period of time, it can negatively impact the results you get in your life. It can also negatively impact your relationships because you may either withdraw, if you don’t feel worthy of a relationship, or it could cause you to push someone away because they don’t want to hear you talk negatively about...

As the seasons are changing for many of us in the world, it got me to thinking about how so many of us pay attention to, and try to regulate our external temperature, while completely neglecting our "internal" temperature. Most of us like to keep our external temperature about the same all year long, give or take a few degrees. To do this, we turn our heat or air conditioning up or down to stay in our comfortable range, regardless of the season. But what about our internal temperature?             

You likely know what your external temperature comfort zone is, but do you know what your internal temperature comfort zone is? This is the place in your life where you are most comfortable. It is the place that is most familiar and where you are likely "reset" to if you start to move away from it. It consists of behaviors, thinking patterns, and habits and it is driven by both your conscious and unconscious...