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How To Build and Manage Your Self-Confidence On An Ongoing Basis.

Apr 26, 2021

Do you sometimes feel like you are lacking in confidence? Do you sometimes not take actions that you think you would have if you had more confidence? Do you sometimes look at other people and wish you could be more confident and surer of yourself the way they seem to be? Many people experience this, at least some of the time.


The first thing to keep in mind is that self-confidence comes from within you. You may sometimes tie it to external events; however, it is always what you think about yourself that increases or diminishes self-confidence. For example, if something happens at work where you are given some negative feedback from your boss, you may think that what your boss said to you created a lack of self-confidence regarding your ability to do you job well, however, it is what you think about what your boss said that impacts your self-confidence. You may think that someone criticizing the way you look caused you to lack confidence, however, it is how you take it in, think about, and internalize what they said that impacts your self-confidence.


The good news about this is that when you understand this and really believe it, you realize that you are one hundred percent in control of your level of self-confidence. You can learn to change how you think about yourself which will dial up your self-confidence, and when you feel self-confident you show up in the world in a different way than you would if you were lacking self-confidence. You brain is more powerful than you may realize and when you learn to take control of your brain, you can decide how you want to feel about yourself, regardless of what things are happening around you, or what others are saying to you.


5 strategies for increasing your self-confidence.


  • Don’t compare your beginning with someone else’s middle or end. My guess is that you have done this at some point. I know I have! Whether it is related to health, career, a business, a relationship, finances, or something else, most of us look at people further along than us and criticize ourselves for not being where they are. If you are doing this, please stop. It will not serve you. Instead, it will cause you to experience self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. If you are going to look at people further along in their journey than you, do it for inspiration. Do it to show you what is possible and maybe to learn some strategies for how they did something, but never do it and then criticize yourself for not being where they are.


  • Do compare yourself to the person you were yesterday, last week, last month, or last year. Comparing yourself to yourself in the past can be very motivating and inspiring. This helps you see progress and helps you remind yourself that you are moving forward. If for some reason you look back and feel like you are moving in the wrong direction, use it for motivation that you can get back to that place where you used to be and then aim to be 1% better every day. If you do just 1% more, try 1% harder, put in 1% extra time, etc., each day or each week, that will add up significantly over time. When you intentionally focus on progress, you get more progress.


  • Celebrate your “wins”. Every day, write down one thing you did that you are proud of. There are likely things you do every day that can be considered wins; however, they are not noticed because you are more focused on the things that did not go well. This is human nature and when you combat it by forcing yourself to slow down and notice the wins, you will feel better overall. Keep your wins in a notebook or a journal so you can go back and read through all of them on the days when you are not feeling as confident.


  • Create a journal of your bigger accomplishments. There are things that you can do today, that you did not know you were capable of doing in the past. Am I right? Over time, you forget the significance of these things unless you take the time to remind yourself. To begin with, block a period of time, grab a journal, and reflect back on some of the bigger things you have done in your life that you consider significant accomplishments for you (remember…you are not comparing your accomplishments with those of other people). Then, at least once a month, do the same reflecting back on the prior month. Once you are done adding to it each month, read through all your accomplishment as a means of reminding yourself of all of them.


  • Look at yourself in the mirror every day and say something to yourself that makes you feel confident. Phrases like I am resilient, I am capable, I can figure anything out, I am moving forward every day, I can do hard things, I am stronger than I know, I will always keep going, I am building the life of my dreams, and I am in control of my thoughts and my life are examples of these statements. Find something that you can feel when you say it and every time you look in the mirror, remind yourself of it.


All of these strategies impact your thinking. Left on its own, your brain will look for the negative things, the ways you are not measuring up, and it will try to highlight the reasons why you may not be capable of achieving something or being the person you want to be. Not so helpful, right?  This is why learning to manage your mind is so important. Once you learn to do this, you get to decide how you want to think and how you want to feel about yourself. How you think and how you feel impacts the actions you take and the results you get in your life.


Most people hold limiting beliefs about what they are capable of and struggle with self-confidence at least some of the time. If you want to take a bit of a deeper dive, you can download my Knockout Your Limiting Beliefs Worksheets HERE. Don’t take the power of your thoughts lightly!


Live your best boss lady life.

~ Karen

Karen Vincent Solutions

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