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Do You Wish You Had More Joy In Your Life?

Feb 08, 2023

Do you wish you had more joy in your life? Do you keep waiting for outside circumstances or events to bring you more joy and happiness? Do you ever find yourself saying, “I will be happy when…”? Have you ever heard someone say that a person makes them so happy, or that they were so happy that they got a promotion, or that they are so happy they are finally starting a family? 


While it is true that people, external circumstances, and events can trigger us to feel joy, it is ultimately what we think about people, circumstances, and events happening in our lives that create the feelings we experience.

In each of the situations mentioned above, it is what someone is thinking about another person, a promotion, or starting a family that creates the feeling of joy. For example, starting a family is an event or circumstance that happens in someone’s life. One person could feel immense joy because this is something they have been wanting for as long as they can remember. Another person who is starting a family could experience immense fear because they are barely able to support themselves and are not sure how they will be able to afford to take care of a child. A third person who is starting a family could feel upset or disappointed because they were not ready to start a family and wanted to focus solely on their career. In these 3 case scenarios, the same circumstance of starting a family created three different emotions, because each individual thought differently about it.

What is important to note about this is that you have the ability to generate the feelings you want to experience by being intentional about what you are thinking. It is a normal part of the human experience to carry around negative thoughts, to focus on the things you don’t think are going well in your life, and to beat yourself up about things that have happened in your past. This type of negative thinking is more likely to occur if you do not train your brain and generate thoughts that support you in how you want to feel and in what you want to accomplish.  Because your thoughts create your feelings, you have the ability to create joy in your life at any time by changing your thinking and deciding where you want to focus your attention. 


Here are 4 strategies for creating more joy in your life. I recommend starting with one and then adding in others over time. 


  • Make self-care a regular practice. Do things on a regular basis that remind you that you are worth being taken care of. Be sure that you are noting that you are engaging in self-care because you love yourself enough to do so. Doing this on a regular basis reinforces positive thoughts about yourself, which results in positive feelings about yourself. 

  • Surround yourself with positive people. If you are constantly engaging with people who are negative, it becomes challenging to stay positive and therefore becomes challenging to feel joy. I am not suggesting that you cut every negative person out of your life (although feel free to do so if that is an option), however, be aware of how they impact you and be sure that you also have positive people in your ear on a regular basis. Remember, it is not the people who create your feelings, it is your thoughts, however, when you hear a lot of negativity, your brain will be more likely to engage in negative thinking patterns because these will become more familiar. The same is true when you surround yourself with positive people. When you spend more time with positive people, your brain will be more likely to engage in positive thinking patterns because they will become more familiar.


  • Practice gratitude. Take time each day to look for things that bring you happiness and joy. As I mentioned, your brain is wired to show you, and remind you of the things happening around you  that it thinks are negative. Instead of allowing this pattern to continue to happen, intentionally find the positive things that are happening around you each day. These can be small things such as a brief, positive exchange you had with someone in the checkout line, the sound of birds chirping, the scent of a candle while you were working, unexpectedly hearing a song from the past that reminded you of your childhood, or the ability to go for a walk. You will see more of what you are looking for and when this happens, you will generate more positive thoughts, and experience more positive feelings.

  • Intentionally create thoughts that generate joyful feelings. Similar to what happens with gratitude, you can intentionally generate thoughts that create joy. You may reflect back on a special moment in your life, think about someone you really appreciate, think about something you are going to do in the future that you are looking forward to, or reflect on a past accomplishment. In each of these instances, you are generating positive thoughts about a circumstance that happened in the past, or that you are anticipating happening in the future which result in joyful feelings. If this feels a bit challenging at first, that is not uncommon but if you stick with it, you will have a toolbox full of thoughts that create joyful feelings that you can access at any moment in time.

You are more in control of your feelings than you may know. Feelings of joy come from within because they are generated by what you are thinking about people, circumstances, situations happening around you, and yourself. Practicing any of these strategies, for just a few minutes on most days, will help you feel more in control of your ability to increase your feelings of joy.


Live your best boss lady life! 

~ Karen 

Karen Vincent Solutions 

PS: If you are interested in information about additional ways of managing your brain by learning to manage unhelpful thinking patterns, you can grab my free 5 Common Thought Distortions Guide HERE. 

PPS: Did you know that I host the Women’s Success Coach Podcast? It is a podcast created to inspire growth and to help you learn, achieve, and evolve in your life ongoing…regardless of your age. You can listen to it anywhere you listen to podcasts. Just type in Women's Success Coach Podcast Karen Vincent and check it out. If you find the content valuable, subscribe so you will be notified when a new episode is released.

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