Live Your Best Life!

Do you ever find that you keep moving things on your “to do” list from one day to the next? From one week to the next? From one month to the next? How about from one year to the next? I can relate to this. I like lists and I like crossing things off lists, however, I recently realized that I was carrying over more things from one list to the next instead of crossing them off. When I looked into this further, I realized that two things were happening. First, the items on the list that were just for me, and did not involve others, were the items getting bumped. Second, I realized that of the items just for me that were getting bumped, they were the hard things, the boring things, or the things I not confident would turn out exactly as I wanted them to.

The tasks that involved me getting something done for someone else, showing up for someone else, or involved someone else in any way were getting done. It was the things that were just for me, about me, or that did...

Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ll believe it when I see it”? Often, we are waiting to “see” something to give us evidence that something is possible, or that something will happen in our lives. Maybe you are waiting for a certain financial status. Maybe you are waiting for a relationship to improve. Maybe you are waiting for something to improve with your health. The problem is, when you say, I’ll believe it when I see it, it will likely never happen.

The reason for this is because with this kind of mindset, you are telling your brain you don’t believe it will happen or that it is possible, and therefore, you think and act as though it is not possible. You tell yourself that only when you see evidence of it happening or of it being possible that you will believe it. When you do this, it results in you not consciously, or unconsciously, doing anything that would make it possible. You are resolved to the fact that it is not...

How often do you take time to challenge your beliefs? Unless you are very intentional, my guess is that you rarely do this. The majority of us don’t challenge our beliefs because they have been around for so long. They are what we know. They are comfortable (even if we don’t necessarily like them). They inform how we operate, what we think is possible, and the overall success and quality of our lives. Yikes! If they are that influential, shouldn’t you be checking in on yours?

Your beliefs form because you have certain thoughts about yourself, those around you, and the world in general that have been playing on repeat in your mind over time. They may be the result of something you heard someone tell you when you were young. They may be the result of something you witnessed happen to someone else. They may be the result of what kind of media or social media you have consumed over time. Whatever it is, you “digested” some form of information, put it on...

This is a good question for you to ask yourself and chances are that when things get hard, sometimes you give up, and sometimes you get up. There is no judgement either way, however, having a process that helps you get really clear about whether you want to give up or get back up, can be helpful.

Typically, when we stop working on something or have thoughts of wanting to quit it is because things are not going according to plan and/or things get uncomfortable. It is human nature to avoid pain and discomfort, so this makes perfect sense from a human evolution perspective. Our brains are wired to alert us when something is making us uncomfortable and will try to tell us to stop because its job is to keep us “safe” and comfortable. This is really helpful when we are in physical danger, however, that is not the experience of most of us today. Instead of highlighting physical danger, it highlights anything that causes us to feel difficult emotions, that challenges us...

Don’t underestimate the power of your mind. Even those thoughts that you don’t consciously see are impacting how you feel, what you do, and the results you get in your life. When you understand this, and intentionally take charge of your thoughts, you not only change how you feel, you also change your life. While this sounds simple (and it is), does not mean that it is easy.

You have two parts to your brain. The conscious part, and the unconscious part. What is stored in the unconscious part of your brain matters. This part of your brain is designed to protect you. It keeps track of the things you tell yourself about yourself and the world in general. If you frequently tell yourself that you are “less than _____ (fill in the blank)” or that you are “not enough _____ (fill in the blank), or that you “should _____ (fill in the blank), or that “you will never be successful, happy, or loved”, these thoughts will be stored in your...

The mindset you have today, is not the mindset you need to achieve any significant goal you may have. If it was, you would already be there. Whether it is a relationship goal, a financial goal, a business or career goal, a health goal, or any other goal, the reason you have not yet achieved it, is because you are not yet the person you need to be to achieve it. Your belief system drives the outcomes and results you get in your life. If your belief system (both consciously and unconsciously) does not support that you are someone who can have an amazing relationship, be debt free, have your dream job, or lose a certain amount of weight, no matter how many times you tell yourself that you want those things, they will never come to be.

Your brain can be your own worst enemy, however, it does not have to be this way. You are able to rewire your brains so that you believe the things you are trying to achieve before you even have them. Think, “I’ll see it when I believe...

Do you find that you sometimes look at other women and wish that you had the life they are living? Do you sometimes wish that you had the resources they have, or the career they have, or the body they have? If so, you are doing what so many of us do both consciously and unconsciously. We compare ourselves to others and then beat ourselves up for not measuring up. We compare ourselves to others and become resentful of them. We compare ourselves to others and then find even more faults within ourselves. I am here to tell all of us who fall into this behavior pattern that we need to stop.

Instead of looking at someone else and then being highly self-critical, telling yourself that you are not “enough”, or feeling bad about yourself, use them as an inspiration for what is possible. When you look at someone else who is doing something or has something that you wish you had, study them, identify what things may have helped them get to where they are now, and use this...

Too often I see clients holding themselves back because of their past. Whether it is because of messages they received about themselves from others, past failures, how they grew up, or what things have happened in their lives, I have seen too many people restricting their future based on their past.

Let me explain this further. Your brain wants you to stay safe and comfortable. Because of this, it will try to keep you where you are, rather than pushing you to try new things or pushing you outside the bounds of where you currently are. It will restrict you from seeing that there are possibilities beyond those that you have already seen or experienced and it will remind you of past failures and past messages you heard or created about yourself that tell you that certain things are for “other people” but not for you. It is not your fault that your brain does this, it is the way all of us are wired.

Just because you are wired this way, however, does not mean...

Do you sometimes feel like you are lacking in confidence? Do you sometimes not take actions that you think you would have if you had more confidence? Do you sometimes look at other people and wish you could be more confident and surer of yourself the way they seem to be? Many people experience this, at least some of the time.

The first thing to keep in mind is that self-confidence comes from within you. You may sometimes tie it to external events; however, it is always what you think about yourself that increases or diminishes self-confidence. For example, if something happens at work where you are given some negative feedback from your boss, you may think that what your boss said to you created a lack of self-confidence regarding your ability to do you job well, however, it is what you think about what your boss said that impacts your self-confidence. You may think that someone criticizing the way you look caused you to lack confidence, however, it is how you take it in,...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions which is why I am writing a series of blog article about them. You can check out Part #1 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Filtering, Overgeneralizations, and Personalization. You can check out Part #2 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Fortune Telling, Black and White Thinking, and “Should” Statements. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if your fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of...