Live Your Best Life!

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐦. We all have an inner dialogue which can look like an inner coach, or an inner critic. What you think about yourself impacts how you feel, how you behave, and the results you get in life. The goal is to have self-talk that encourages you to want to improve, while also accepting the person you are without harsh criticism.

The way you talk to yourself can cause painful emotions, which makes it harder to show up and behave in the way you want to. If you sit with these painful or negative emotions for an extended period of time, it can negatively impact the results you get in your life. It can also negatively impact your relationships because you may either withdraw, if you don’t feel worthy of a relationship, or it could cause you to push someone away because they don’t want to hear you talk negatively about...

As the seasons are changing for many of us in the world, it got me to thinking about how so many of us pay attention to, and try to regulate our external temperature, while completely neglecting our "internal" temperature. Most of us like to keep our external temperature about the same all year long, give or take a few degrees. To do this, we turn our heat or air conditioning up or down to stay in our comfortable range, regardless of the season. But what about our internal temperature?             

You likely know what your external temperature comfort zone is, but do you know what your internal temperature comfort zone is? This is the place in your life where you are most comfortable. It is the place that is most familiar and where you are likely "reset" to if you start to move away from it. It consists of behaviors, thinking patterns, and habits and it is driven by both your conscious and unconscious...

We all have a lens through which we view the world. This lens is created over time, starting at a young age, and is the result of our life experiences, what we have been told about ourselves, others, the world, and what we think about ourselves. This lens impacts the way we see things and can be very subjective. This is the reason why two people could be in the same situation and think and feel very differently about it.

It is important for you to know that this lens exists, but also for you to check in on your lens and assess whether it is working for you, or against you. This lens is heavily tied to your belief system and your mindset. For example, if you were going on a job interview and your belief system was that you were not good at interviewing and you were not one hundred percent qualified for the job, you would likely show up to the interview differently than someone who was very confident in both their interview and professional skills. In addition, if you believed...

Do you keep the commitments you make to yourself? So often we tell ourselves we want to do something and then we spend all our time doing things for other people, while forgetting to keep the commitments that we make to ourselves. Why is it that we are willing to follow through with what we say we will do for other people, but not for ourselves?

Whether it’s work related, family related, friend related, or even a commitment to show up somewhere and volunteer, you are likely motivated to follow through because someone else is depending on you. Maybe you don’t want to let someone down, or maybe you are motivated to get something done because you don’t want negative repercussions that could result if you did not follow through with your commitment. Maybe you have been doing this so long, that it has become a habit and that anytime you make a commitment to someone else, the only option for you is to follow through with it.

The act of following through...

When faced with uncertainty, does your brain play through all the “what ifs” of the situation, act like a fortune teller, and predict that the worst-case scenario will happen? If so, you are not alone. We are all wired for negativity bias. This means that without being intentional, our brains want to focus on what is actually happening that is negative, as well as what could potentially happen that is negative. This is why your brain will have you consider the worst-case scenario, even when there is little to no evidence that this outcome will occur.

Your brain thinks that if it has you consider and anticipate the worst that could happen in a particular situation that it is protecting you. It thinks that by having you focus on all the negative outcomes, you can protect yourself from having them happen, and / or avoid being disappointed if they do happen. Unless there is significant evidence that something really bad could happen, this is not a good use of your...

Do you check in on your emotional wellness? You go to your doctor to get checkups and you bring your car in to get tuned up and if something is wrong with either, you likely make a plan and get the support you need to fix.  Most of us are pretty good about these things, however, when was the last time you checked in on your emotional health? If it was recently, congratulations and keep doing this. If it has not been for a long time, let this serve as a reminder that your emotional health is critical to your overall well being. The quality of your life is impacted by your emotional health, so having good emotional health results in a better life overall. 

Emotional wellness is about what we think and feel. When you have good emotional wellness, you are able to control and express emotions appropriately. When you have good emotional health, you experience more positive relationships and social interactions. When you have good emotional health, you have coping...

If you are reading this, you are likely someone with goals who wants to improve their life in some way. One thing I’ve noticed with goals is that many people spend a lot of time thinking about them, dreaming about them, and mapping them out…and then never achieve them. Believe me, I have been there many times my friend. Why is this a common experience for so many of us?

It is because dreaming and doing are two very different experiences. Thinking about your goals and what you want in your future is exciting, energizing, and can bring about a lot of hope surrounding what is possible. These are all feelings you want to experience, and therefore thinking about your goals is reinforced by the positive feelings you experience when you do this. On the other hand, doing what it takes to achieve your goals, especially if they will stretch you or challenge you, can be uncomfortable and create feelings of uncertainty. While pushing yourself to achieve your goals, you may...

Why is it that some people are optimistic and assume things will work out or turn out well, while other people are mostly pessimistic and focus on all the possible negative outcomes? It has to do with how our brains are wired. Based on human nature, we are wired to focus more on the negative things. That is because they typically bring about “negative” emotions and human nature is to want to avoid these negative emotions. Because of this, our primitive brains think that if they keep us focusing on past negative things, or potential negative things, then we can somehow protect ourselves from them, however, as you and I both know…this often just leaves us feeling bad anticipating negative things that will likely never happen

People who are optimistic choose to be that way. It may be easier for them because they have some real-life experiences that have gone well for them which help them consider more positive things happening in the future, however, they are...

Do you tend to see and focus on the negative aspects of a situation? “Disqualifying the positive” is what is referred to as a thought distortion, or a cognitive distortion. What this means is that your brain observes a situation and filters in the negative aspects of the situation and ignores, or discounts any of the positive aspects of the situation. If you are someone who experiences this, you are not alone. Our brains have what is called a “negativity bias” which causes them to highlight the negative things around us, while bypassing positive things. 

The reason it does this is because, typically when you are experiencing negative things, you also experience negative emotions. This can raise an alarm with your brain because with negative emotions comes discomfort. Your brain does not want you to experience this discomfort, and it thinks that if it continues to focus on the negative thing that somehow it can prevent it from happening again and...

Many people are great at figuring out what they want to achieve and mapping out their days, weeks, or months so that they can get done what they want to. The problem comes when the days, weeks, or months go by and there has not been much movement towards what they wanted to get done. They tell themselves something is important and that they want to get something done, however, they end up feeling unproductive and like they are not making progress.

Can you relate to this, at least on some level? You said you were going to make ten calls to potential customers at work, and you only made five. You said you were going to workout 5 days this week, and you only worked out twice. You said you were going to finish your project a day ahead of its due date, and you didn’t get it done until the last minute. You said you were going to organize your closet, but it is a month later and it is not done. You said you were going to make a budget and get on track with your finances, however,...