Recently I was working with a client who was finally able to uncover how terribly she speaks to herself. She regularly says things like, “I messed that up”, “I will never have enough time”, “I don’t ever follow through with things”, and “I’m always disappointing people”. It has become a habit for these phrases, or other phrases like them, to run through her mind. In addition, she always takes the blame when things don’t go well, and rarely takes the credit when things do go well, because she does not want to seem like she is bragging.
Do you see how problematic this can be for her self-esteem, for her overall emotional state, and for her confidence regarding being able to accomplish the things she really wants in her life? Her thinking pattern had become so routine that she was not even questioning the accurateness of her thoughts. She was just accepting them as true, even if there was plenty of evidence to prove that they were not true.
No wonder she was experiencing low mood, a lack of motivation, and felt like she was not moving forward in her life. If you believed that you always mess things up, that there is not enough time to get things done, that you don’t accomplish what you set out to, and that you disappoint others, you would likely want to shrink, play small in life, and do everything you could to stay in your comfort zone (even if it was not actually comfortable at all).
The good news is that she finally uncovered this pattern of self-talk so we were able to implement strategies to start to create better patterns that worked for her, instead of against her. What is fascinating about our brains is that they are very amenable to change. It does not take years to change negative thinking patterns, even if they have been present for years. The key is always consistency. If you believe you have negative thinking patterns that are causing challenges for you, try the strategies below.
Strategies for changing your negative thinking patterns about yourself.
As a reminder, consistency with this is key. The more often you catch yourself and challenge your thoughts, the more successful you will be in changing those automatic thinking patterns. What you say to yourself impacts how you feel, your relationships, your actions, and the results you get in your life. Start speaking to yourself as you would speak to a good friend and notice the positive impact it has. You’ve got this!
Live your best boss lady life.
Karen Vincent Solutions
If you are interested in some more information about ways of improving thought patterns that are not working for you, sign up for a free coaching consultation session with me by clicking HERE.
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