Stop Quitting on Yourself: 4 Mindset Shifts that Will Help You Keep Going
May 12, 2020
Hi! It's Karen from Karen Vincent Solutions.
How many times have you really wanted something, had a plan, started…and then you quit? Maybe you started over and quit again…and then again. Or maybe you never started over at all.
Most people can relate to this in some area of their lives. Was it a healthier eating plan, increasing your exercise, learning something new, pursuing a hobby, working on something that would help you get a promotion, starting a business, increasing quality time with your family or some other area in your life? Whatever it was, most of us have experienced this more than once or twice.
Why do we do this? We want something for ourselves, we go for it…and then we quit. Why? Usually it is because we are having to give something else up in order to pursue our new goal. If you can relate to this, let’s dig in a little deeper.
Maybe you need to watch less television to work on a career goal. Maybe you need to give up a food that you really like in order to lose the weight you want to lose. Maybe you need to give up being comfortable on the couch in order to keep going with your exercise program which makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you need to give up the comfort of your daily routine to make time to learn or do something new. Whatever it is, we quit because we feel discomfort related to something we are trying to add or remove from our daily routine.
I can’t tell you how many times I quit on exercise because it made me uncomfortable. My excuse was always that I did not have time, however, the reality was that exercise was hard for me and I did not enjoy it, so I quit.
I was challenging my body to be stronger and healthier, but my mind was telling me to stay with what was familiar and comfortable…which was not exercising. I would start and then quit, telling myself that there was not enough time for me to exercise. I would maintain this excuse for a while, until at some point, I regretted that I quit. I would then start again, get uncomfortable, quit…repeat.
I knew I needed to exercise but unconsciously, I was fighting myself every step of the way. Buying new exercise equipment, cute workout clothes and sneakers did not make me all the sudden motivated to exercise. Let’s face it, there will always be excuses we can fall back on if we want to stay safe, play small and stay comfortable.
I finally worked through the mindset sludge in my brain (it did not happen overnight) and on a Tuesday, I got up and exercised. I decide not to wait until Monday, next week, or for a day when I would have more time. It was a Tuesday and I just did it. I have exercised almost every single day since then.
Exercise is such an ingrained habit now, that my mind cannot get in the way or talk me out of it…and believe me…it tries! This is after years of not having any sort of consistency with exercise and after going months without any exercise at all. The truth is, I don’t always want to do it and it is really hard some days, but I do it anyway. It was the initial change in my mindset that made the ultimate difference and allowed me to push though the discomfort until the habit was formed.
4 mindset shifts to help you stop quitting on yourself.
- Stop waiting until you feel ready. Accept that you will never feel 100% ready...for whatever new thing you are trying to do. It will be a challenge and uncomfortable. There is not a perfect time to start a new business or change your daily routine or start a healthy eating plan. There will always be obstacles, “what if’s”, and discomfort. Despite all of that, make a commitment to start and JFDI (Just “you know what” do it!). If you think too much about it, you will talk yourself out of it every single time. Write down your commitment for when you will start and stick with it.
- Take a small step forward every day. Don’t start by going all out. This makes it so much harder. Instead of going from 0 to 100 when working towards your goal. Go from 0 to 1 or 2. Nail that and then go to 5 or 10. Each success makes you stronger so that you are better able to push through the challenges that you will inevitably face. When I finally started exercising on a consistent basis, I started with the goal of 5 minutes of walking on the treadmill. That’s it…5 minutes was all I committed to doing…and I did 10 minutes. I did the same the next day and it increased from there. It had to become a habit and if I would have told myself I needed to do 30 minutes every day, I would have quit because it would have felt too uncomfortable and overwhelming. Over time, making it a priority in my schedule became a habit and I slowly increased the time and the intensity and am now running, cycling, boxing and lifting weights. I did the same when getting ready to launch my business. I took small action each day, gained momentum and grew (and will continue to grow) from there. What small action are you going to take to start moving yourself towards you goal?
- Enjoy the process. One of the reasons I quit on my weight loss goal so many times was because I was only focused on the end result. I only cared about a certain number on the scale and when it started to feel like I was not making progress or not making progress fast enough, I would quit. I did the same with building my business. I had all these great ideas and a vision for a wildly successful business but when it was not happening fast enough, I would lose momentum. I would start working on it and then “take a break”. Finally, I learned to enjoy the process and appreciate how I was growing by pushing myself. With exercise, I learned to be proud that I was getting stronger, having more endurance and that I was keeping the commitment to myself. When you are working towards a goal, the work you do to get there makes you a better person. The end result is what gets you started, however, appreciating the process you are going through to reach your goal is what will keep you going. What part of the process can you choose to start appreciating?
- If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. You are someone who wants to grow in some area of your life, or you would not be reading this. If you are not willing to push yourself a little more and then a little more and then a little more, you will stay just as you are…or worse, you will go backwards. The discomfort that can come with growth is not always easy, but it is worth it. You should try to challenge yourself every single day. Do you push a little harder in your workout? Do you make the time to plan a nice evening with your partner to improve your relationship? Do you get up a half hour early to work on something that will advance your career? Do you prep a healthy lunch for tomorrow instead of watching television tonight? Whatever is it, challenge yourself every day and you will see the compound effect come into play. When you improve one area of your life, other areas will start to improve as will. Other things that felt challenging will become easier, your confidence will increase and you will just keep moving forward. What are you going to do to challenge yourself today?
Live your best Boss Lady life!
Karen Vincent Solutions
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