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Your Mind Can Work for You or It can Work Against You…You Decide.

May 09, 2022

Your mind is the most powerful resource you have. It is your best business tool, relationship tool, parenting tool, emotional well-being tool, and overall life satisfaction tool. What you think about matters…A LOT. Some research indicates that you have over 60,000 thoughts per day so there is no way you can be aware of all that is happening in your mind. You have many automatic thoughts such as, reminders for how to breath, digest food, brush your teeth, walk, drive your car, and other daily, basic tasks. You also have the obvious conscious thoughts such as thoughts related to what you are doing in the present moment, reminders to get certain tasks done, thoughts about how you will manage your time each day, thoughts about when you will eat each day, etc. You also have thousands of unconscious thoughts that play in the background of your mind all day long.


These unconscious thoughts are related to what you think about yourself, your abilities, your confidence, and your overall self-worth. These thoughts influence how you feel, and the actions you take because of how you feel. If you are feeling good about yourself, your abilities, and you have confidence in yourself, you will take very different action than if you feel insecure, you question your abilities, and you lack self-confidence.  The problem is, you may not even realize that these thoughts are running in the background having so much influence over how you feel, what you do, and ultimately the results you get in your life.


What is also important to know is that these unconscious thoughts are also related to how you feel about other people, and about the situations or circumstances in your life. They influence how you feel, the actions you take, and the results you get in your life without you even noticing in many cases. Your mind attaches meaning to things, however, just because it gives meaning to something, does not mean that it is accurate or the truth. For example, you may send a completed project to your boss and not hear back for a couple of days. This could be because your boss is traveling or dealing with a family emergency, however, your unconscious mind may start thinking that your boss did not think you did a good job, is upset with you, or is wondering if you are the right person for the job. Consider how you would feel for a couple of days if this was the meaning you associated to a situation that had nothing to do with your work performance.


The good news is that once you are aware that this is how your mind works, you can uncover those unconscious thoughts running in the background, challenge them, and decide if there are better thoughts you could be thinking that would result in better feelings. Better feelings result in better actions, and ultimately create better results in your life. This is how you take control of your mind so that it works for you, rather than against you. Even if you have had some thought patterns that have been working against you for years, it does not take a very long time to start to change them so that they no longer cause you negative feelings and/or hold you back. Below are 6 steps you can follow to help you do this.


6 steps to managing your mind so that it works for you, not against you. 


  • If you are noticing “negative” or challenging feelings, pause and ask yourself what feelings you are experiencing. Get really clear about your emotions and label them. You may be experiencing multiple emotions and that is normal. Label them all.


  • Ask yourself what you are thinking that is causing these feelings. What is very important is that you don’t tell yourself you are experiencing negative emotions because something is happening external to you. While this may be the trigger, it is what you are thinking that is causing the feelings. Write down all of the thoughts that come to mind.


  • Next, ask yourself if what you are thinking is 100% true. Is it based on facts, or is it based on assumptions and your perception of something? If a friend shared the exact same scenario with you and had the exact same thoughts you have about it, would you agree that what they are thinking is 100% accurate.


  • If you determine that your thoughts are your perception or interpretation of a situation and not necessarily the absolute truth, ask yourself what else you could be thinking about the situation. Is there another possibility or option? Is there another way of looking at the situation? Is there something other than the worst-case scenario? Write down all the other options that could result in better feelings.


  • Ask yourself, “If I had better thoughts related to this situation, how would I feel, and therefore what actions would I take (or not take) as a result?”. Get really clear about what could be different (and better), if you changed your thinking.


  • Finally, ask yourself, “If I get to choose which thoughts I focus on, which determines how I feel, which determines the actions I take, which determines the results I get in my life, which thoughts am I going to focus on related to this situation?”. Write your new thoughts down and be intentional about replacing your old, negative thought(s) with your new thought(s).


This is a process you can apply over and over to any situation where you notice negative feelings. You can apply it to positive feeling as well. If you notice yourself experiencing positive feelings, ask yourself what you are thinking that is creating those positive feelings and decide if there are more opportunities to focus on those positive thoughts.


Remember I said that even if you have been experiencing negative emotions and thought patterns for years, it does not take years to change them. The key to changing them is to challenge them consistently. Consistency is what will make the difference in rewiring your brain so that it works for you, not against you.

If you want my free "5 Common Thought Distortions" guide. You can grab it HERE. In this guide I will help you understand what thought distortions are, how they negatively impact you, and teach you how to mange them, so that they don't manage you!


For more tips and ongoing information about how to manage your mind. Join my community HERE so you will receive my weekly newsletter where I offer tips and strategies ongoing. You’ve got this!

Live your best boss lady life! 

~ Karen 

Karen Vincent Solutions 

If you are interested in some more information about ways of getting the results you want in your life faster, sign up for a free coaching consultation session with me by clicking HERE. 

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