Stop Putting Yourself on the Back Burner: It’s Time to Go After Your Goals

Let’s be real for a minute. You’re juggling a million things…work deadlines, family responsibilities, laundry that seems to multiply in the dark, and the endless cycle of errands that never ends. And while you’re out there taking care of everyone and everything else, you continue to slide to the bottom of your to-do list.

I hear this all the time from the women I coach: “I’ll start working on my goals once things calm down.” or "I'll have more time next week, next month, or next year.” But here’s the truth, you and I both know that life isn’t going to magically “calm down.” There will always be more to do, more people to help, and more fires to put out. If you keep waiting for the “perfect time,” you’ll be waiting forever and I definitely don’t want that for you.

So let me ask you this: What would it feel like if you actually started putting yourself back on the list…not at the bottom, not as an afterthought, but right at the top? What if you gave yourself the same energy, attention, and care that you so freely give to everyone else?

Because here’s the thing, my friend: you deserve it.

The Back-Burner Trap

Here’s why we do it: as women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that being “selfless” is the highest virtue. We are conditioned to think that taking care of everyone else first is what makes us good partners, mothers, friends, employees, leaders, etc.. But selfless is just another way of saying “I’m invisible and my needs, happiness, health and wellness are less important than others.”

The danger of always putting yourself last is that one day you look up and realize you’ve been living everyone else’s life but your own, or that you can no longer live the life you desire because you have not taken care of yourself. Your dreams are still on hold. Your goals are still in the “someday” pile. And your energy? Completely drained.

And I don’t say this to make you feel guilty or to make you feel bad, I say it to remind you that this pattern isn’t serving you and you deserve more. And, the reality is that when you are drained and unfulfilled, it’s not serving the people you love either.

Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish

I want you to try on a new belief: taking care of yourself is actually one of the most generous things you can do. When you’re energized, fulfilled, and living with purpose, you show up as the best version of yourself. You become more energized, more creative, more present, more fulfilled and honestly, probably more fun to be around.

Your goals matter. Your dreams matter. And the impact you can make in the worl…inside your home, in your workplace and in your community only grows when you stop running on empty.

How to Start Today (Even If You’re Crazy Busy)

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This all sounds great, but where the heck am I supposed to find the time?”

Here’s the secret: you don’t need massive amounts of time to make progress on your goals. What you need is intentionality. Here are three practical ways to start shifting today:

Claim 15 Minutes a Day: Stop waiting for a three-hour window of “me time” (we both know it’s not coming). Start with just 15 minutes. Whether it’s journaling, moving your body, planning your next step, putting your ideas about what you want to accomplish on paper, or simply sitting with your coffee and breathing, those 15 minutes compound into major change over time. The key is to start with something that feels doable. In time, maybe that 15 minutes turns into 20, 30, 45, or 60. But starting is the key…you have to get momentum and starting small is the best way I know how to do this.

Say “Yes” to You by Saying “No” to Something Else:  Every time you say yes to something that doesn’t light you up, you’re saying no to yourself. Practice choosing you once in a while. Decline the extra committee or meeting. Order takeout instead of cooking. Ask for help. Ask if someone else can pick up or drop off the kids sometimes. That time and energy can then go toward what really matters to you.

Get Clear on Your Next Step (not the whole mountain): One reason women stay stuck is because they’re trying to climb the whole mountain in their head before taking a single step. While having a big dream is great, it can feel overwhelming which can then result in not taking action. Instead of having a perfect roadmap of how you will get up the whole mountain, focus on just the next step toward your goal. Then take that step, then the next one, and the next one and just keep going. With action comes both motivation and momentum. 

Use my free guide KV’s 8 Step Roadmap to Setting and Achieving a Goal to support you in this process. This guide will help you outline what you want, why you want it, and will help you anticipate what things might cause you to go off track so that you can stay ahead of them, instead of falling victim to them. You can grab it here. https://karenvincentsolutions.mykajabi.com/goalsetting

You’re Allowed to Want More

I want you to hear me on this: you’re not “too busy” to chase your goal, you’re just not prioritizing yourself yet. That can change today.

You’re allowed to want more for yourself. You’re allowed to go after big dreams, to carve out time for your passions and to set goals that light you up, even if other people don’t get it. Especially if other people don’t get it. You have to have your own back, and you have to be your biggest cheerleader.

Because at the end of the day, this is your life. And you get one shot at it. Do you really want to look back and realize you spent the whole time running errands and doing only the things other people wanted you to do, instead of building the life you actually wanted or doing the things that light you up?

Let’s Flip the Script

So, here’s my challenge for you: starting today, stop putting yourself on the back burner. Pick one thing…just one that moves you closer to your goals and make it happen within the next 7 days. Schedule it. Protect it. Treat it as non-negotiable.

Because the truth is, you’re not just capable of achieving your goals, you’re worthy of them. And the sooner you start showing up for yourself, the sooner you’ll start creating a life that feels as amazing on the inside as it looks on the outside.

You’ve got this. Now go take that first step and don’t forget to grab my free guide here that will support you in this process. https://karenvincentsolutions.mykajabi.com/goalsetting